Written by The Walkers
You keep asking. They keep answering.
I’m all about respecting my body and such, but I constantly get slack for sleeping with guys on a first date. Is it really that bad/taboo? I enjoy sex, and a lot of the time, I am more sexually attracted to a guy than I am interested in what he’s saying. Yet, when I tell my female friends, they all say I should make guys wait. I’m just fulfilling a need here! Should I be ashamed?
Question #1: Because society thinks its bad to scratch that itch…
Mrs. W: You definitely should not feel ashamed. It’s your body, your choice. I don’t know if it’s that taboo or not – it’s really just about what you are looking for. If you are wanting to date, and have some fun, then do what feels right what what you are comfortable with. However, if your goal is to be a relationship, then it might increase your chances if you wait a bit longer before sleeping with a guy. This gives you a chance to get to know the guy before hormones play a part. It also gives him a chance to get to know you. That being said, you have to do you! It’s not like a relationship has never started after sex on the first date!
Mr. W: Everybody has different sex drives. If you feel the urge to go fast on a first date, then you shouldn’t feel ashamed. Just be careful, because jumping into things sexually can make your head fuzz. A lot of people overlook red flags in relationships because the sex is too good. If you are not looking for a relationship, that’s fine as well. Just be honest with yourself and your partners. And always play it safe.
One of my best friends just got engaged. I’m over the mood excited for her, but I have one tiny issue: I cannot stand her fiancé. He’s rude, immature, and honestly, I don’t like who she is when she’s around him. I want to support herald be happy for her next step, but I feel so conflicted. Do you have any advice on how I can handle such a situation?
Question #2: My best friends wedding.
Mrs. W: That is super unfortunate that you don’t like your best friend’s fiancé. If he’s just not your cup of tea, and not a horrible person, there isn’t much you can do about it – especially without damaging the friendship. To each their own! If there was a moral flaw in his character, then you would have more of an obligation to say something, but not if you just find him annoying. My advice to you would be to take him in small doses. It’s your best friend’s soon-to-be-husband, so you are going to have to spend some time with him, especially if you want to keep the friendship strong. Just make sure to plan some girls’ nights with your friend. Make plans that ensure he’s not there overtime you see your bestie. That way, you’ll have more patience for him when you do see him. Also remember: BE NICE!
Mr. W: You might want to consider having a talk with her about it. Be really careful here, because there are good ads of blowing up the friendship. A good friend is there to let us know when we are making a bad decision. She may be having the same doubts that you are, and if you offer her the right support, then it could help give her the strength she needs to change the direction. If you decide to bring it up, you’ve got one shot, so say it right and then drop it. You are in a very tough position! Good luck!
Mr. & Mrs.Walker,
I consider myself to be very traditional when it comes to dating. A man should always pay for dinner, I hate using apps, and…I think guys should always make the first move. Is that a super backwards way of thinking? I feel like a girl making the first move seems desperate, and a guy will see her desperation, instead of her actual intent.
Question #3: Waiting for him to make the move.
Mrs. W: I don’t think you are a backwards thinker. I think you are just more old fashioned when it comes to dating, and maybe a little stubborn. Try to be a little more flexible in your thinking. I wouldn’t say men should always pay for dinner, but I think it’s nice when they pay for the first date (and maybe the second and third 😉), but eventually it’s nice to buy them dinner or a round of drinks. Show him that you are appreciative. Again, it’s romantic and feels good when a guy makes the first move, but it’s not always the case. Sometimes, we need send a signal to the guy to let him know that we’re interested. You can make the first move in a cute and classy way without coming off as desperate. Plus, most guys really like it when a girl makes the first move.
Mr. W: There is nothing wrong with know what turns you on. If a man putting you first like that gets you going, then you shouldn’t feel conflicted about seeking it out. With love, you have to know what you are looking for, before you can go out and find it. Keep being honest with yourself, and you will meet your match. Just make sure that you are still sending out signals that show you are interested in him, and not making him do all of the work. Guys like to know that what they are doing is working.
My question for you is super straight forward. I’ve asked many friends, who have given me mixed answers, so I thought I would ask you. Is going to a bar alone weird? You see it in movies all the time, yet I’ve rarely seen it in real life. Moving to the city (from a very small town), I’ve always had this desire to go chill at my local bar alone just to get over my day. Is that weird?
Question #4: Play me a song, Piano Man.
Mrs. W: I think going to a bar alone is only as weird as you make it. It really depends on your comfort level. I know compared to me, Mr. Walker is much more comfortable hanging out at a bar lone. Personally, if I had a desire to chill at my local bar after a long day at work, I would go on my way home from work, stay for a drink or two, then leave if I’m not engaged in a conversation with anyone. Again, do what feels comfortable to you, start in small doses, and remember: Don’t get weird.
Mr. W: Let’s not judge whether or not going to a bar alone is weird. If you enjoy doing it, and you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, then you shouldn’t feel weird about wanting to go to a bar alone. Having said that, other people may find it unusual that you are at a bar alone. Think about your friends’ mixed answers when you aske them about this. So, don’t be too surprised if it is tough to meet people going out alone, if that is what you are looking to do. Going out alone is always a bit risky. Be careful about how often and how much you drink, and let someone know where you are. You can lose track of things more easily when your friends aren’t around to keep you in check. Have fun and be safe!
I know some guys are circumcised, and some are not, but I’m curious as to why there are so many more guys who are circumcised then there are guys who aren’t. I’ve been with many men, but only 1 or 2 have not be circumcised. Is it really a cleanliness thing? Apart from it being part of a religious tradition. I feel silly for asking, but should it be handled differently?
Question #4: It’s like that one Sex and the City episode…
Mrs. W: My view on why in North America there are more guys who are circumcised than not, is due to what is popular in society at a given time. Back when the dad’s of guys our age were being born, circumcision was a popular choice. if not for religious purposes, most doctors would have recommended circumcision due to the belief that it was more clean. Although, that view has now changed. Chances are high that a dad will circumcise their son if he is circumcised, ideally to “look like him”. Which is why, in my opinion, most guys in our generation are circumcised. I am not too sure about the “handling” aspect of it all, but in my opinion, you might be more gently and use more lube with a guy who is circumcised. Although, every guy is different, so it’s best to ask them how they like it 😉.
Mr. W: I’m not sure that I have a single answer as to why the majority of men are circumcised, and that is a complex subject. Many people like the neat and tidy look that comes along with circumcision. As long as a guy washes down there regularly, there is no difference in cleanliness. You are going to want to handle one or the other fairly differently. With an uncircumcised guy, the skin can slide up and down, which sort of makes things easier. Google “water snake toy”, and you’ll know what I mean. When you’re with someone who is circumcised, you will want to be more careful to not cause rub burn when using your hands, or otherwise rubbing up on it. Know the difference, but don’t worry too much about it. just pay attention to what he lies, and make sure he knows what you like.