Written by The Strategy
This post is going to be a long and confusing one, so please stick with me.
Last afternoon, I cleared up disk space on my MacBook and settled in to untangle the Kardashian-Foster-Hadid family tree. It took me several hours, and all the available disk space I had just cleared up. At times I was confused and pulling my hair, but when the tree was untangled, I had the same satisfaction of solving an 11th grade word problem.
If Kris, who had three kids from her first marriage, married Bruce, who had two kids from his first marriage and two kids from his second marriage, had two more kids with Bruce, how many children would Bruce have fathered?
Let’s Start with the parents. Please refer to slide #1. Once upon a time, Robert Kardashian Sr., married Kris Houghton. The marriage dissolved, and Kris married Bruce Jenner. Bruce Jenner was previously married to Linda Thompson. After Bruce and Linda’s marriage ended, Linda (who had a relationship with Elvis Presley, NBD), married David Foster. Sadly, this did not last either, and the two split. David Foster moved on to marry everyone’s favourite housewife, Yolanda van den Herik (now known as Yolanda Foster). Yolanda, was previously married to Mohamed Hadid.
Still with us? On to the children.
Kris Houghton and Robert Kardashian had four children together. I’m sure you have no clue what their names are, so I’ll tell you: Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Robert Jr.
Bruce Jenner had two children from his first marriage: Burt and Casey. When he married Linda Thompson, the pair had two more children: Brandon and Brody.
When Kris and Bruce married, they added to their broods two more children: Kylie and Kendall. Bruce apparently likes to have his children in twos.
So far, Kylie and Kendall have Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Robert Jr., Brandon, Brody, Burt and Casey as half siblings. That’s a lot of Christmas gifts.
Linda Thompson and David Foster did not have any children from their marriage. However, David does have five children from previous marriages. They are: Allison, Amy, Sara, Erin and Jordan.
Finally, we get around to the union of Yolanda and Mohammad. Mohammad has two daughters from a previous relationship, Marielle and Alana (both gorgeous, in case you were wondering), and together, Yolanda and Mohammad blessed the world with Gigi, Bella and their brother Anwar.
There are about 25 members of this super interconnected group, overlapping step-relationships and the possibility of two best friends (Gigi and Kendall) being not so distant, distantly related. *Kendall is a half sibling of Brody and Brandon, who are step siblings to Gigi’s step siblings Erin, Sara and Jordan…*
While I’m happy I don’t have to remember so many birthdays, I still wish I was the missing member of this clan.
