Written by The Strategy
Searching for a partner, a hook-up, or a short-term relationship, used to mean that one either grabbed their single girlfriends, dressed up in their ‘cutest’ outfits, and headed out to a bar, or keeping your eyes peeled when in a bookstore or coffee shop. Nowadays, looking for the above only requires your phone, a messy bun and your comfiest pair of FreeCity’s.
I recently joined the online dating world a) because I was bored, and b) because I was curious. I’m a ‘traditional’ person, when it comes to dating, and the online world simply didn’t make sense to me. It seems impossible to have a conversation about relationships though, without a person asking, “Are you on Tinder?”. So, after years of avoiding the app, I finally decided to join. I joined Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OkCupid. A couple weeks into it, I’m not really sure how I feel about it, but I’m going to share my ‘findings’ with you.
To begin, the first night I joined Tinder, I happened to be out at a bar with a friend. When she went to the bathroom, I opened my app and started swiping. After plenty of ‘nope’s’, I swiped right on a cute guy who was…0 kilometres away from me. It was a MATCH! Immediately, my head went up, and I spotted the guy practically right beside me. He messaged me. I messaged back. He replied. And not once during this exchange did he look up to talk to me in person. For a newbie, this was strange for me. But then I realized – the dating world has changed.
While I know many people who have gone on dates with people they’ve met through dating apps, and even some who are in serious relationships, I seem to be getting messages from the strangest men. I have yet to go on a date through the apps, as I’m not 100% sure they’re not all serial killers. People, stranger danger is real!
After weeks of using the apps, it’s strange how flattered I get when a guy starts a conversation with “How are you today?”. The majority of my messages are dick pics, ‘Hey Cutie’, “Are you into threesomes” and my favourite to this day, “I would love for you to try out my sex-kink bench.” (Don’t google it. It’s scary. His apparently was home made). In fact, I’ve accumulated so many dick pics on my phone that my friends think I’m a major perve, and I’m also considering starting a coffee table book on them.
My profile picture is a selfie, showing only my face, and my bio says, “I don’t know what to write here.”, so I’m not sure what is drawing them in. My sister says I just ‘have that kind of face’…
I think it’s safe to say that I’m no longer using the apps in hopes of finding “the one”. But there is something about them, that I’m not ready to delete them off my phone. I think my curiosity has gotten the better of me. I have, however, started a ranking system on how I use the apps.
OkCupid: Possibly my least favourite because anyone can send you a message. The above messages are from here. I use this app when I want a laugh.
Tinder: A fun drinking game to play with friends. Set up your apple TV and airplay your phone. A match qualifies for a shot.
Bumble: I’m still feeling this one out…While on holiday in Ireland, I conversed with some really nice normal guys. Back home in Toronto, I have talked with maybe 2.
Hinge: Because this app introduces you to friends of your Facebook friends, I feel that this one is the safest. I think everyone uses it with the fear that your match could potentially tell your mutual connection about your foot fetish. But, it does get awkward, as I was recently matched with a guy who is friends with an ex. Oops.
Bottomline: I think romance is dead. Sorry guys.
Written by Natasha Lawrence
